Expectation

Oh I am empty.
empty and in need, need so deep
fallen down where it is dark
and I am mired
and so alone
and all these years, You said You’d come,
oh come.

Oh come, can’t You see
I need Bread of Life
Word of God
Light of World
In this, my darkest silent empty place,
come now–

I am waiting.
We are waiting.

And one chosen grows heavy with child,
as we grow heavy with sin,
and she births hope
and we birth despair
and despair would murder hope,
driving deep into innocence,
but Hope conquers in the end–
Love conquers death–

death is swallowed up in victory.

and I wait.

Oh, let hope be born in me.

After the Cross

after the cross
under the blood
all darkness removed
in light’s holy flood

promise unfolding
blemish erased
beauty from dust
glory and grace

nothing between us
me and my Lord
all sweet communion
sinner restored

walking together
sit at His feet
rest in this mercy
life now complete

often I find myself
standing without
wiping my feet again
suffering doubt

forgetting forgiveness
living like lost
yet offered communion
after the cross

©Erin Kilmer, 2010

********

Written in response to LL Barkat’s post “When Did We Get ‘Spiritual Practice’ Stuck?“

Glory

all this
weight and beauty
above me
below
within
without
–and i so small–
how shall i ever
find words to express it all?

©Erin Kilmer, 2010

Eat (manger)

she said to write something
French-ish.
and all I really know of French
is
French fry
French toast
perhaps
croissant?

I’m making myself hungry
with this ridiculous foray
into a language I do not speak.

J’ai envie de manger mon dîner maintenant.

©Erin Kilmer, 2010

*******

Poem #5 for my Baby Words series. Squeezy only speaks English and baby babble, however.

Inspired by L.L. Barkat’s French on Fridays.

Mommy

Mama, Mom, Mommy
some days this is all I am
or so it would seem

Mama, Mom, Mommy
I am more than a mother
sometimes I forget

Mama, Mom, Mommy
and wife and lover and friend
dare I say writer

Mama, Mom, Mommy
and sister, daughter, and aunt
teacher and student

Mama, Mom, Mommy
and child of God, beloved
bought with His own blood

Mama, Mom, Mommy
more than a mother; I’m what
He made me to be

********

©Erin Kilmer, 2010

Number four in my Baby Words series.

Banana

I bought a bunch
well, really I bought two
(we’d been eating them so fast, you see).

But one bunch
is going black
before the other bunch
is gone
(shows you how well it pays to be prepared).

So in the morning,
I’m making muffins.

©Erin Kilmer 2010

#3 in my Baby Words series.

all done

too often
i forget
how blessed
i am
to push
my plate
away
and say
i am
too full
to finish

© 2010 Erin Kilmer

********

this is a part of a series of poetry i am doing using the words and phrases my daughter says. yesterday i began with “soft.” i hope to do one a day for thirty days, having been inspired by this post at 32 Poems.

Soft

She gently pats her hand
on the doggy’s fur,
Daddy’s hair,
Papa’s beard.

Soft
she says
in her cute baby voice,

and I remember her
soft, sweet skin
all born new
fresh and small.

This growing makes me smile
and breaks my heart.

©2010 Erin Kilmer

Barbies on Titanic

I left Barbies at Communion
(autographed by Mr. Goodyear himself)
on the counter by the bathroom sink.

(I only have time to read in the bathroom.
Sometimes I lock myself in.)

I won it, you know,
the book, not the bathroom sink,
and I was just about halfway through.

(these things take time when your daughter
likes to eat dog food while you’re in the bathroom.)

And then, in a moment of destiny,
two boys reenacting the sinking of Titanic
also drenched Barbies,
who had never even once thought of
buying a ticket on that ill-fated
bottle-turned-ship.

(I guess I should be glad it was sink-water
rather than other bathroom alternatives.)

horizon

by Erin Kilmer

and oh, You are mercy,
love, grace.

when sin’s curse would ravage our hearts,
stealing all hope for any tomorrow,
leaving us bereft, defeated, alone–

You step in then,
plead scars of nails,
death’s destroyers.

never without hope, Your people.
never without a forever of tomorrows
waiting just beyond sunrise.

we hide in hope, in Your rest.

and oh, You are mercy,
love, grace.