Mommy

July 14, 2010

Mama, Mom, Mommy
some days this is all I am
or so it would seem

Mama, Mom, Mommy
I am more than a mother
sometimes I forget

Mama, Mom, Mommy
and wife and lover and friend
dare I say writer

Mama, Mom, Mommy
and sister, daughter, and aunt
teacher and student

Mama, Mom, Mommy
and child of God, beloved
bought with His own blood

Mama, Mom, Mommy
more than a mother; I’m what
He made me to be

********

©Erin Kilmer, 2010

Number four in my Baby Words series.

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Being Mother

May 9, 2010

by Erin Kilmer

I am a mother.

My floor is littered with toys and socks and books and a pink blow-up dolphin.

My kitchen sink is full of dishes to be washed and my laundry room is overflowing with dirty underwear.

My yard needs mowed and the flowerbed is all weeds.

I am a mother.

I cannot do it all.

I am imperfect and tired and busy.

I am slowly learning grace.

I am a mother.

My sons grow taller every day– startling me with height.

They remind me a little too much of myself, of my husband.

They do not need clean underwear as much as they need me, present.

I am a mother.

My daughter grows and watches me.

I wonder what she will become, watching me.

She does not need an immaculate playroom as much as she needs me, present.

I am a mother.

So often I am caught up in my world, my pleasure, my business.

So often I am not the mother they should have.

So often I do only the bare minimum required to get by.

I am a mother.

I want to be so much more than just the one who gave them birth.

I want to be the one who daily nurtures, brings life.

I want to be the one creating warmth and joy and memories.

I am a mother.

They are my children, loving unconditionally.

I am the unworthy recipient of hugs from grimy hands, expressions of love in glue and construction paper.

Oh Lord, make me the mother they deserve.